The Power of Details
As writers, we’ve all heard mantras repeated like, “show, don’t tell,” or “add more detail and imagery.” But what do these mean and why bother? It’s no surprise that we are creatures that understand our world through words AND images. Research in psychology has shown that our emotions are activated quickly through imagery, and this can bypass our logical thinking or reinforce it. One way that writers use this idea is to craft our imagery carefully with appropriate details that “conjure up” the accompanying associations in our minds through specific word choice. As Perelman and Olbrechts-Tyteca argued in The New Rhetoric (1971), the “more specific the terms, the sharper the image they conjure up, and conversely, the more general the terms, the weaker the image” (147). The most immediate way to experience something is direct contact. But in writing, we can’t directly interact with our audience, so the presence we are able to create is reduced. Presence is how much “a concept is foremost in the minds of our audience.”
So how do we increase presence in our writing? We craft our details so carefully that the scenes/images/characters/concepts become foremost to our audience. Concrete language is the most effective way to help our readers construct a mental image and increase presence. Using concrete (instead of abstract) details increases something researchers call vividness, which is information that is emotionally interesting and concrete (we can experience it with our senses). In other words, back to mantras of helping the reader “see”, “feel,” “hear,” even “smell” and “taste” the details.
How about an example? If I want to describe the taste of a lemon to you, I could say abstractly, “Filmore picked up a lemon, that small yellow citrus with its pungent smell and sour taste. reminded him of his childhood” Not bad, but bland. Instead, I could draw you into the scene to help you experience (vicariously) the lemon through Filmore’s own experience.
Filmore shuffled to the kitchen table with his small pairing knife held pointing outward, as if to ward off something unpleasant. Looking at the bowl of lemons, he squinted as the light from the window filled the small yellow dimples on the top-most fruit. Even before he picked one up, he could smell years of his mother’s cleaning with Pinesol barely diluted with water. His cheeks pulled in slightly and his tongue began to water, forcing him to repeatedly swallow.”
Did you feel your own cheeks purse or “see” Filmore’s cheeks purse? Did the dimples on the lemons remind you of your own experiences with lemons? I’m not saying this description is perfect, but an exercise to make this point: the more concrete the imagery, the better for helping readers envision the experience. The next time you want to help readers understand and live your story, evoke presence through vivid detail. As always, remember not to overdue the detail. It’s relevant detail, not extreme detail. Avoid trying to paint every element of the scene for readers; leave them just enough work to do to be active readers. More on this concept of active imagination later.